Fitness is a state of Body AND a state of mind!

Today I am just a bit frustrated regarding getting my workout in. I am doing everything I can to "shazach" myself into feelin' like myself and getting better all around. Stuffy nose, red nose, scabbed nose. Sputtering when I talk,( due to running out of breath) and the nasal sound of hoarseness just is not cute. I am not concerned about the cute part. I want to feel like working out.
The thoughts I am having now are sooo different for me. I almost don't know what to do with the thoughts I have about working out and my eating plan. I am going to work in a week, and I feel like these symptoms have cut into my plot to workout, and to do the other things I feel like I need to do...( the truth is-I was not able to workout ONE day) all this because I was not able to work out yesterday. I did not have the power to do it AND breathe well. Today I am going to workout no matter what -I will do a modified workout (tape or something).
I finally found a meal replacement bar that I can make for work. I have my workout clothes on alert. I got my crockpot ( for dinners that can start while I am on my way home). I am working myself through my wardrobe and finding all kinds of stuff. The issue is that I have been working from home and now I am factoring a "commute" and other things... I am excited and a moving forward with the normal trepidation that anyone in my position would feel.
I ate well yesterday even though I didn't feel good. I still did not feel like me though. I know that I am doing better today... but I want to get back to feeling like myself. The truth is my old self is dwindling away and a new improved me is emerging.I like her... but SHE is different...
On second thought -Maybe it is normal to want to exercise daily and to get frustrated when you can't. - maybe it is normal to know that you ate well but could have done better and start thinking about self improvement. - Maybe it is normal to be excited about planning for well being instead of waiting for the gauntlet to drop ( the correct word is proactive). Maybe it's normal to want to be Better!
Toodles~
"Health is not valued until sickness comes". - Thomas Fuller

Growing while I lose!

Today...I am in a very Happy mode. I looked through my old exercise book. The one I started after the most recent "false start" a couple of years ago. It still had some relevance. There were some things in there that I know I won't be going back to, I will be -adding to the book and taking away!

This book is filled with recipes, reminders and info in general. I was talking to someone the other day, and it just dawned on me. I have lived a life cloaked and shrouded in secrecy on some level. There is a difference between private situations and secrecy. I won't get on the web and blast my SSN or where I live or anything like that...but I finally figured out my purpose... can I say it right now? No... but I have been doing it for some time. I just did not know it...Now I do.

I now know that my basic core person is enough to do everything that God intended for me to do on this side of the dirt. That He has been building my life brick by brick; even when I was doing the stuff that was mundane (or so I thought) or hurtful, or uncomfortable. Right now.. all that stuff has helped me to learn to grow and to be more free in my skin than I have ever been. I regret only that it's taken me soo long. Truth be told, though I could not have handled any of this before now because I was not ready.

Change is good. Being accountable is good. Sharin' is "underated". I used to think that telling what I know or have learned would be a negative... but I am finding out that there is always someone that is willing to learn or needs some of the most basic information I have. I have learned soo much from other folks my whole life...
I have learned from homeless folks that no one likes to be alone and everyone needs a friend or someone/something to care about and to know that someone cares about them . My sister goes to feed the homeless every week she looks for them and they look for her too.There's an even exchange there - though to the "unlearned eye" it looks one-sided.
I learned that I can mother w/o being a mother - NOBODY could have told me that 20 years ago. All I knew is that no one would want me because of my "lot" and no way would I ever be fufilled. Not true...
I have learned from my brother that some hurts never go away fully - but they get bearable. We all did good this Dec. 23rd; I did not have a meltdown or do hardly any "I wishes" though the memories of the loss are ever present... We all did well it's taken 7yrs to get here.
I have maintained the mindset from my Nanny that "flexibility" is important. She could figure out how to fix, rig, or work around most things if given a minute. At this time she has Alzheimers so her "figurer-outer" is not working soo well, but even now she is able to express some happy,pain, and from time to time will sing her version of a song. We take whatever we get from her.
I am still learning daily and I am now certain it never ends. My eating plan and exercise is pretty doggone good at this point. And I lost a total of 7 lbs this week.
I am doing just fine- and still better than Ok!
Toodles~

PLANNING MODE CONTINUES!

Okay so here I go, here I go, here I go... today I decided to put up the picture of the zuchhinni cakes ( think crab w/o the crab) because I decided this is going to be my lunch! I really don't know how they are going to manifest if I don't get outta here and get the zuchinni to make them though. This means going to the market.
I have been planning for returning to work-making decisions that I have not had to make in quite sometime. One of the advantages of working from home was - well, working from home ( please believe me there are disadvantages that equal or eclipse the advantages). Get up do a load of laundry- start dinner, vacuum etc. Now I am remembering I have to plan exercise, lunch, dinner for the dude and such. I in turn get to leave work at work now. Have a real stop and start time for work,interact with folks (not remotely)and see body language,no evenings /no weekends!

I know better than to rely on the fella to cook.So no delusional thinking here,it can happen but I will take those days when the come but I won't rely on them being consistent.
Q?:What am I going to do?
A!:I have a crockpot (C-pot) that was a high-school graduation present (no lie). It's the only one that I own I have been out of high school 30yrs. I found a recipe today that is a soup that requires 6 hours of cooking and it will overcook if I start it in the am. If I want "mush" I will intentionally make mush; overcooked soup is mush to me. I need a C-pot with a timer on it! I think I am due an upgrade.
Did I mention I am in planning mode? LOL. I know how to make a rotisserie style chicken ( like the kind in W-mart) in the crockpot... so the possibilities are endless. Planning is selfish- I am really doing it to ensure that my stress level stays "way down"... like it is now.
I am sure I will find all kinds recipes.
OOh I almost forgot. I am down another pound so that's 4lbs for day 3 of my tweaked eating path... I am doing just fine- and better than ok.
Toodles~

POSSIBILITES ~

Sometimes I feel like I am an undercover agent of sorts. I wonder... do folks really know me?, are they interested in knowing the real me? or if they even care?... I got on this thread of thinking because I have had some folks that don't know me very well or at all RECENTLY respond to my nuances/personality.Some things even people I am related or long term friend w/ have never addressed or mentioned. Case in point- the head hunter I have been working with ( which was a happenstance more than an intentional move- details at 11) stated last week- "you are just a little to easy to get along with- what's up with that?". I have been volleying back and forth with this fella for approximately 1.2 months and for him to blurt that out was a little different. I was momentarily shocked but at the same time I had to take into account he does not know I am new and improving.
What he was hearing was actually appropriateness for the situation. There was a time when he would have been correct. Easy going, door mattish, too laid-back ( almost reclining) described me. A lot of taking it on the chin in public , crying later and killing myself softly- w/ food.
I explained to him that I was easy to get along with in this particular setting because there was no reason for me to respond any other way. My questions, were being answered, he was working on my behalf, and I had some prospects for work... He then understood a bit better. I did talk to him and explain where I am on a professional level and now I need/want covering of a big established company, benefits, TIME and consistency.Those are the things that are of importance to me,"aaah" was his response.
I was informed today that my offer package is in the works. The company wants to make sure that I am interested. I informed them "yes". I can relax now and expect a call next week.
I am on day 2 of my tweaked eating plan. I am down 3lbs since yesterday. Was I deprived - no! Is this fitting w/ my habits ( yea-yah) and I finally feel like I am on the total right path for me. FINALLY!
My exercise is funny. I have never envisioned myself being a 6hr /day exercise type person. I aint on the BL Ranch and I dont have the time. I am about effecient training for conditioning and health ( those are most likely synonymous). I am finding I can push harder and still keep my workouts at less than an hour and come out on top!
I am in a good space today. I have been making a concious effort to enjoy the remainder of my life. To not let folks "rain on my parade", "drag me down", "pee in my coffee" or make me feel like anything less than what God has already bellowed in the world's ear that I am.
I got shalom today ya'll...( everything's not perfect- but life ain't broken and nothing is missing..)
Toodles.

What to do?

This Morning I am up and at 'em finally. I vlog but I am finding that writing here helps me even more than the vloggin. My vlogging is more about the physical aspect of my path to wellness/health and the emotional part as well. Over here... well it's all the rest of the components of me.
I got up this morning with soo many thoughts in my head. Things I want to do today, the problem is- I think I will need some extra hours to get all of the things I "want to do" done.
Some of the tasks are really things that are functional - such as I need to get a frame I have my coupon and I am ready, I measured the frame so I know I have the right size in mind- this time I will write it down though because the last time I went to the store "in search" I got special...
I want to sew. I am looking over my wardrobe and preparing for the call about my new gig. I arrived early at the last interview so that I could see how the women/men who entered were dressed. It helps that some of the stores that I shop at now are a lunchbreak away. My plan is that as my size decreases that I will sew more. I enjoy the satisfaction and the relaxing feeling that sewing gives me. At the end the feeling of accomplishment of creating a "one of a kind" creation also provides inertia for the next project.
I mentioned tweaking my eating program and I am looking for 2 books - (so a trip to the bookstore is in order) the books may provide me some insight and help me narrow down my tweak. I am not sure I will make a purchase of either unless there is a concept that I just can't grasp or there's info that I will need to reference again!
I know to some this sounds like work- but to me this is a relaxing day.
Ohh and while I am at I am definitely going to grab a coffee!
I hope you are going to have a good relaxing day as well.
Toodles~

2012 Solutions

Several years ago I stopped "resolving" things... this also meant no longer would I make new year resolutions. What precipitated this new thinkin? I experienced a situaiton that was SUPPOSED to "resolve" an issue once and for all I did the background work all the footwork ( so I thought) I am still today dealing with the backlash from that decision as the claims had some verity but it was not at all the resolution I understood or expected. I morphed over to "solutions for the new year" at that time.
I always start my solutions in advance of the NEW year...I started this year in August. Tweaking my eating habits, tweaking my exercise habits and taking better care of me from all aspects. My work life balance had been out of whack for a really long time. It was the last major thing that I dealt with.
Making snap decisions w/o consulting God is not an option. It became apparently clear that work had taken over- there was no down time, no planning, no nothing-- just work. I obeyed and "laid down the work part of the work/life balance equation" time to seek a solution... it can only get better!
I talked about a couch to 5k running situation, a long time ago... and now drumroll please... I am at the point where I can run a 2k ( 1.5 miles w/o stopping).This is a huge deal for me and to me . I know what my eating plans for 2012 are.... I know my exercise goals....and tomorrow I expect a call with a salary offer from a job I have been interviewing for.
In my mind I am a runner, but physically right now I am not what a runner looks like. I plan on participating in a 5k, 2012 jingle bell run, and I might even just run up and join a stranger or two while they run their dogs if I get a notion. Stay tuned for the eating path update I have to get it down pat first. On the horizon- 12/31 my days of eating confections will come to a halt. "I don't do dessert" will be my new mantra. I will also know that there is a beginning and an end to my work day.
I am believing that everyone had a really Merry Christmas I sure did!
Toodles~

Perspective is everything!

Two more days before CHRISTmas! This is a very different Christmas for me.... It's not my first "grown up " one- but I can tell you it's most definitely the one where I have acted the most adult.
As a kid I was thinking each time I read in the word "that there is nothing new under the sun" how could that be? All this stuff I hadn't experienced,tasted,visited, bought,etc... and I'm reading all the stuff that I consider to be unexplored awesomeness is actually "old news"? for real?...
This year I understand - why my parents poured soo much into our Christmas's - it was because they'd reach where I am now... they know that folks go out spend to the hilt- for 24 hours of ooh's and ahh's and all kinds of oral gluttony... and then by the next work day get to worrying. That the good feelings (which for some reason this year folks seem more hostile and less "Christmasesque" as usual) will dissipate and reversion to the usual will ensue...
They knew that everyday should be filled with connecting with fam on a good level, and dealing w/ each other with love and civility because it's not always a death that seperates ( distance, Alzheimers, and motives and notions) can do the same. That when folks are truly "gone from the stratsophere that we know as earth" they are gone and there's no sayin, or fixin' anything at that time, or doin' the undone.
This year at this time in the year I find myself - on a self imposed hiatus from work. I have recognized that I can chase money and lose my mind. I prefer my sanity- the money will find me. I now solidily have confirmed that folks are afraid to be their true core selves. That titles and positions and letters following after a name ( I have currently "BOUGHT" 8 letters) through the guise of testing and scholarly endeavours, seem to be the personal fort used for protection... My parents taught us all long ago that who we are - is "enough" and I can honestly say they were correct on this.... ( as they are/were on sooo many things).
I have learned that my version of life is good. It's not perfect, it's not pretty, it's tight sometimes but it's my path.
From the health standpoint I have learned that I CAN DO SO MUCH more than I thought this body could. It's endured a lot over my life years. I have done a lot of not soo good things to it... and this year it's been obliging me with increased stamina... improved well being because I concentrated on it more than the proverbial 21 days ( the time frame for a habit to supposedly form) - my habit makere is broken obviously.
I have cut a lot of stuff from my diet, my life, and my thoughts... and am in the process of filling my life with meaningful things. ( a new job, new experiences ( new friends and a few refurbished ones) and an ever increasing love of God and his directives and desires for me!
Wishing everyone a Merry CHRISTmas and Happy New Year.