Jello-like Qualities

Ok~ it's Friday- I made it through another week...this week was a funny one... I feel like as far as work is concerned today was like the first day after you return from New Years Vacation...
Yep the entire zippety- do- da week... why? I am glad you asked ( although nobody asked).
I felt more in control than I have in a long time. For the past 4 years I have worked in a capacity that was actually made for me " a created position"... and for many of those years along w/ another colleague have been the lab rats for this position- growing when it grew, morphing in all kinds of directions. We both have been extremely patient, and very tired. It's hard to hit a moving target... I have been trying for 4 years. Believe me it's not possible.

Now to the positive -- I was not sure what I was learning as I got my "sea legs". I wavered from feeling as though I had reached nirvana only to fell as though I had slipped and landed in the very "bowels of hell"...sometimes within the same 12-14 hour work day. I now know that one does not exist ( Nirvana). I have always believed in hell but I don't have any desire of visiting literally nor figuratively for that matter. The last 365 days have been the real "test". I have prayed for and pleaded for a myriad of things. I failed to take the time to remember I have the power within me to make anything happen- things always start "internally- w/ a thought of I can do this- I need to do this.
This week I put on my big girl panties ( and a girdle- I needed the extra support) and made decisions based around what I needed to accomplish to get the day I planned accomplished. I have favour at work - I am informed that I do wonderfully. It's imperative that I have the same opinion about my work too and I didn't.. the consummate imperfect perfectionist.
It started out really subtle-- "I am able to do this"- "I am sorry but I can't do that" and on and on it went. I started feeling less jello-ish right at the start... I kinda felt like a nice flan.... the more I took control of what was happening I noticed the more at ease I became. By Wednesday I was thinking of calling somebody and declaring a name change for Wednesday. I was thinking we could change it from "hump day" to "get a grip day" ! In a mere 5 days with some conscious effort and determination I moved from a jiggly mess to a nice firm set..
Talkin' sure does help.